


Crusader Online

by Theoroark



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, First Dates, Fluff, Hijinks & Shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-26 18:10:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13863123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theoroark/pseuds/Theoroark
Summary: Mekamechanic's first date ends up back at the workshop. Brigitte is buff and Hana is a bad influence.





	Crusader Online

“I am not doing this,” Brigitte said firmly.

“Why?” asked Hana. She rapped her knuckles against Reinhardt’s armor, examining it contemplatively. “You’d fit. Oh, wait. Do you think he pees in there or something?”

“What? No! Wait.” Brigitte folded her arms. “Do you pee in your mech?”

“What? No! But I mean, I’m in battle for hours at a time, and I’m in the ocean–” Hana cut herself off and shook her head. “Look, no judgment, but I don’t think talking about pee is a great date activity.”

“And joyriding in my godfather's treasured and sentimental armor is?”

“Yes,” Hana said. “Come on. Haven’t you always been curious?” Brigitte bit her lip and she grinned. “It’s not like you’d damage it. If anything, you’d take better care of it than he does.”

“You’re not wrong,” Brigitte said slowly. Hana’s grin widened.

“So…?”

“Okay, okay. But just for a minute!” Hana continued jumping up and down despite her warning, and Brigitte rolled her eyes. “Go get me that stepladder.”

“Roger.” Hana ran to the wall and ran back as best she could while holding the thing. “So, do you have to change into a special outfit for it, or something?”

“Trying to get me out of my clothes already? On our first date? I thought you were a lady.”

“Heh. Well, for my knight…” Brigitte rolled her eyes as she climbed up the ladder and clambered unto the shoulder of the armor. She signaled to Hana, who pulled the breastplate forward. Brigitte slipped into the gap and stuck her arms and legs through the holes and wiggled. It was difficult and not nearly as smooth as when Reinhardt did it, but the metal moved with her. Hana clapped and whooped.

“Shh!”

“Sorry,” she said in an exaggerated whisper. She pushed the breast plate forward again and stepped to the side, and Brigitte took a careful step forward. Hana let out a very quiet “whoo!” and Brigitte could not help smiling. “Okay okay. Now where does he keep the hammer?”

“No, no, no.” Brigitte shook her head as Hana turned to her with a wounded expression. “I know this stuff, but that hammer–”

“Is the fun part of this Crusader thing! Come on, Brigitte,” Hana pleaded. Despite her refusal, she was very obviously scanning the place for a sign of the weapon. “You gotta smash at least one thing.”

“Smash something?”

“Yeah!” Brigitte’s stomach sank as Hana’s eyes stopped roving and her grin reappeared. She had clearly located the hammer. “This place is full of junk,” she said, inching to the left.

“That ‘junk’ is very useful and valuable material–”

“There are three almost empty vending machines in here,” Hana said. She lost patience and went for the hammer in earnest, only to completely fail to pick it up. “What the hell? Is this some kind of Thor thing?”

“No, it’s a ‘don’t skip arm day’ thing.” Hana responding scowl quickly transformed into delight as Brigitte took careful, tremulous steps towards the hammer, and then easily picked it up.

“So does this mean–”

“Yeah, yeah. Fine.” Hana let out another quiet “whoo” as Brigitte made her way towards the vending machines. She held an arm out as Hana jogged to her side.

“Stand back.” Hana did so obediently. Brigitte rolled the hammer in her palm, testing its weight while eyeing her mark. She took a deep breath, pulled back, and swung.

The hammer pushed through the metal like it was tissue, and a shower of glass and carbonated beverage exploded from the machines. Hana laughed delightedly and Brigitte found herself laughing as well. Until the ruined mess of metal began to spark. Then, she remembered that the machines had been plugged in.

She dove to cover Hana, admittedly a bit of an overreaction given that the fires that sprung up were about campfire sized. However, it did mean that she was able to keep Hana dry as the sprinkler systems were activated.

“Uh oh,” she whispered. Even over the shrilling of the alarms, she could hear Reinhardt’s heavy footsteps above them, racing towards the stairs. He came pelting into the workshop only moments later, his face frantic.

“Brigitte! Are you–” He cut himself off as he surveyed the scene– Brigitte in his armor, a well dressed but very damp young woman shifting on her feet next to her, and some smoldering wreckage behind the two.

“Mein Gott,” he whispered. Brigitte’s face flushed and she ducked her head down. Hana looked over at her and took her enormous metal hand in her small one, and stepped forward.

“Lieutenant Wilhelm, sir, this isn’t Brigitte’s fault at all, please don’t be mad at her–”

“You’re Hana Song!” Both women jumped in surprise as he broke into a giant smile and bounded towards them excitedly. “Your stream is– unbelievable– and such a talented actress as well–” He grabbed a very dazed looking Hana’s hand and shook it vigorously. “Brigitte,” he said, turning rapidly to her. “Why didn’t you tell me this is who you were seeing tonight? How did this happen?”

The two looked at each other, wearing identical dumb grins. “I don’t know,” Brigitte said. “I guess I’m just lucky.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was a tumblr-only deal for a while, but it picked up steam after Brigitte was announced, so I figured I might as well post it here. Proud to say I was an early Mekamechanic adopter.
> 
> I'm @tacticalgrandma on tumblr if you want to talk there!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this, and any comments/kudos would mean the world to me <3


End file.
